A Parody on Guilt

“Thank you, Doctor, for seeing me on such short notice on Friday afternoon.  I just feel I need to talk to a professional about my dilemma.”

“That’s quite all right, Mr. Haynes, that’s what we’re here for.  In looking at your medical history, it’s pretty uneventful.  I also see you are a volunteer at Shawnee Mission Medical Center.”

“Yes, Doctor, and that’s where I have the problem and need your help.”

“I see, Mr. Haynes, that your referral came through the hospital Behavioral Assessment Department.”

“Yes, sir, that is correct.”

“So, Mr. Haynes, are you having a problem with the hospital or the staff?”

“Oh, no!  I have nothing but praise for them.”

“Well then, what or where is your dilemma?”

“Doctor, this is hard for me to talk about but here goes.  First of all, I really look forward to going to the hospital to do volunteer work.  People are friendly and the work environment is excellent.  They even feed me for my labor.  Mostly, however, I really get an uplifting feeling when I help with patients, visitors, and staff.  By being a volunteer  I am actually contributing something valuable to society.  People are thanking you right and left.”

“Mr. Haynes, may I call you John?”

“Yes, that’s fine.”

“John, you have not verbalized anything but positive.  I want to hear something about the ‘dilemma’ you have mentioned.”

“That’s just it, Doctor, there’s a lack of negative feelings.”

“John, can you elaborate a little more?”

“Yes sir.  What I mean is that virtually everything I do at the hospital is on the positive.  For example, when I help people find their way to some place in the hospital, I get all kinds of praise.  I think people really get stressed when they are lost and can’t find their destination.  When I use humor in communicating to patients I can almost instinctively feel their anxiety melt away.”

“Uh huh.  Tell me more, John.”

“Ok, Doctor, just stop and think about it.  I’m not responsible to tell a patient they have a terminal disease or that recovery will be long and painful.  No sir, not me.  Nor do I have to tell family members their loved one has a life-threatening injury.  And then throw in the long hours and the expectation that you can cure everything.  In a word, Doctor, I feel darn guilty that I get to do all of the fun and enjoyable stuff.  Therein lies my dilemma.”

“John, I think I’m starting to understand your feelings of guilt.  Do you want to stop being a volunteer?”

“Heavens no!  I may have some guilt feelings, but I’m not crazy.  I’m having too many good feelings being a volunteer.  In fact, since talking with you, I think I’ve worked through my guilt feelings.”

What happened next was a complete surprise and very strange.  I was almost out of the doctor’s office when I heard the doctor on the phone asking what he needed to do to get signed up for the volunteer training class. Perhaps I helped the psychiatrist as much as he helped me.

John Haynes

John Haynes, MS, MBA, is a retired school psychologist and a current volunteer at Shawnee Mission Medical Center (SMMC). He served as a Hospital Corpsman at the US Naval Academy and served on the USS Sanctuary Hospital ship in Vietnam. In addition to his volunteer work at SMMC, he's actively involved in the community through the Shawnee Kiwanis Club and the Kansas Trails Council. His interests vary from backpacking and mountain biking to investment analysis and business management. He and his wife have two sons.